Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
no more duck duck goose at the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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