Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
