All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize