I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
organizing the empties. That sober.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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