I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
