please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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