escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
