Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I love you. Go after that dick
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
