is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
