If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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