just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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