My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
