You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
