Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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