Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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