My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
