theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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