That's intense
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
