Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
