ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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