I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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