That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
