Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
