ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
