dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
