remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
