Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
