I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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