Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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