WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
