You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
