i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
