Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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