Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize