Soap is not a condiment
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?