We're like a lot better than the average bears
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.