No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once