Your tits are I can't wait for
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
