You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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