I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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