Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
