I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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