Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
