So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
