Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
