dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
