never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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