Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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