hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
