Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize