she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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