did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
