You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
