While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize