I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
