it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
